Borscht meets Guacamole

Wow - was this fortuitous, or what? I have just found the man on Craigslist for our beloved Ekaterina. You know, the 27 year old beauty who sees red, has eyes of green and a body most harmonious? If you have not yet met Ekaterina I urge you to do so!

Now please meet Jose, Ekaterina's soul mate - at least in fonts:

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Come with me to continue

hello been 7 years in this country and I think it is time to settle, I am Hispanic and looking for a serious relationship and so have the good company to keep here that is very necessary for me assure you that you are going to be okay.

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Hey, I don't really recommend anyone really settle in terms of relationships, you know? I mean, it's only been 7 years since he's been here. Let's give it some time, eh? I guess that's his prerogative. But, I do like the part where he says it's very necessary he inform her she's going to be okay. I think we all need to hear that. I think Juan sounds like the perfect man if he can make everything be okay. Hopefully Juan will be okay, too. I like his selflessness. Hopefully he can deal with the fact that Ekaterina sees red. Hmmm. Maybe Juan isn't going to be okay. Should I be concerned?

Nonetheless, looks like I'm going to need a Russian/Spanish translation for: Bon Voyage Ekaterina and Jose. Live Long and Prosper!

I'm planning on sending several dictionaries as a first year wedding gift, being that it's paper and all. Modern day lists say that clocks are to be given the first year but let me just tell you, if you have a Chinese friend marrying, please do not give them a clock as a wedding gift. It's considered death. Been there. My bad. Never got a thank you note. I'm not even sure they're still married, much less living. Just don't give out clocks to anyone for any reason. It's not worth it.

mutters to self about how I should have kept that cool clock...

From Russia, with Love

Just to be fair, it's not always the men. No, sometimes it's the spam filters that don't know what the heck to do with these things. This one was forwarded to me after it got through a friend's spam filter.

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Subject: I search for the friend for acquaintance!!!

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!

My name Ekaterina. To me of 27 years. Growth 173 see Red, Eyes green, a figure harmonous. A higher education, perfectly I own and I speak in English, Studied it during all study. On To character - kind, sympathetic and quiet, for my work it is simple It is necessary. I work in the trainer in fitness the centre.

Not for the husband. Children while are not present. I live in very beautiful city - Cheboksary, Russia.

My hobbies - music, sports, housekeeping, walk on fresh air. Music-from classical, To modern, I am able to play a guitar, a little bit I sing. I love sport mine Morning before work begins with jog on fresh air. I like to prepare And to be engaged in house affairs. Still I like dogs. I live with my mum in one-room apartment.

Very much I love children and would like to get the child, but yet Has met that man to which could trust and pass on the vital Ways to a place and consequently I dream to get acquainted for serious relations with The kind, decent, cultural and clever man. The exit for the husband is possible. Where You wash the unique and tender reliable friend??!!

If you are interested Me that write me on my e-mail: ekaterina08sil@yahoo.com

If you answer me, I will tell in more details about myself and To send you the photo.

With the big impatience I look forward to hearing from you Ekaterina.

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Okay, with big impatience I-b-callin' my IT guy to come rescue my beleaguered spam filter that obviously took a dump after fielding this one. I have to give her credit for spelling though. It's much better than most profiles I read from the U.S., but I think the English ownership program is going a step too far.

I admit I do kinda like the idea of 'exit for the husband'. I think I did that in my divorce. Yes, in fact, I'm sure I did. Maybe she's just planning for the future, always a good move in relationship matters.

And in spite of engaging in house affairs she still likes dogs. I can relate to this. How long does it really take to house break one of these, anyway? !@#$%!

At least she appears humble. Most posters claim to walk on water. She simply claims to walk on air. I think we can all live with that.

Go Ekaterina!