Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts

Monday, September 22, 2008

From Russia, with Love

Just to be fair, it's not always the men. No, sometimes it's the spam filters that don't know what the heck to do with these things. This one was forwarded to me after it got through a friend's spam filter.

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Subject: I search for the friend for acquaintance!!!

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!

My name Ekaterina. To me of 27 years. Growth 173 see Red, Eyes green, a figure harmonous. A higher education, perfectly I own and I speak in English, Studied it during all study. On To character - kind, sympathetic and quiet, for my work it is simple It is necessary. I work in the trainer in fitness the centre.

Not for the husband. Children while are not present. I live in very beautiful city - Cheboksary, Russia.

My hobbies - music, sports, housekeeping, walk on fresh air. Music-from classical, To modern, I am able to play a guitar, a little bit I sing. I love sport mine Morning before work begins with jog on fresh air. I like to prepare And to be engaged in house affairs. Still I like dogs. I live with my mum in one-room apartment.

Very much I love children and would like to get the child, but yet Has met that man to which could trust and pass on the vital Ways to a place and consequently I dream to get acquainted for serious relations with The kind, decent, cultural and clever man. The exit for the husband is possible. Where You wash the unique and tender reliable friend??!!

If you are interested Me that write me on my e-mail: ekaterina08sil@yahoo.com

If you answer me, I will tell in more details about myself and To send you the photo.

With the big impatience I look forward to hearing from you Ekaterina.

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Okay, with big impatience I-b-callin' my IT guy to come rescue my beleaguered spam filter that obviously took a dump after fielding this one. I have to give her credit for spelling though. It's much better than most profiles I read from the U.S., but I think the English ownership program is going a step too far.

I admit I do kinda like the idea of 'exit for the husband'. I think I did that in my divorce. Yes, in fact, I'm sure I did. Maybe she's just planning for the future, always a good move in relationship matters.

And in spite of engaging in house affairs she still likes dogs. I can relate to this. How long does it really take to house break one of these, anyway? !@#$%!

At least she appears humble. Most posters claim to walk on water. She simply claims to walk on air. I think we can all live with that.

Go Ekaterina!


Sunday, September 7, 2008

Profile of the Month: When in Rome

Caesar has visited De-Nile.

Always up for an impossible challenge, my mission for 07 September 2008 A.D. is to find this man a woman.

All typos and spell check freak outs remain for your reading pleasure.

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Dante seeks his Beatrice, anon!

My favorite place on Earth is the 5eme Arrondissment, Rue de la Harpe, Paris, on a warm, balmy, September evening. Am also comfortable though, in the outdoors, or sleeping under the stars. Have been in the military reserve since I was 17. I can disassemble an assault rifle or translate Moliere. I also get great satisfaction in praying the Rosary. My ideal match would be a Blonde, Swiss, girl, who could double for Princess Grace, that stands about 5 feet seven inches, speaks, Italien, French and German, loves ancient history and the Classics, loves going to Mass, but is completely uninhibited in her intellectual pursuits. Tallyho!

For fun:

Am in a Roman History reenactment group. We have very accurate 1rst-2nd century infantry armor. Our group has appeared on the history channel. We hold demonstrations of Roman fighting tactics against like-minded Celtic groups. Our weapons are real.

Favorite hot spots:

Love to dwell in the classics section of Borders and lose myself as I imagine a warm summer day in the Roman Forum during the height of the Empire in 107 Anno Domine.

Favorite things:

My favorite thing is to cook some magnificent spaghetti on a Friday night and watch my Science Fiction shows on channel 71.

Last read:

"Lost Victories" by Eric Von Manstein.

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Now, you may find this very hard to believe, but at the ripe old age of 50 something, this man has never been married.

I. AM. SHOCKED.

Let's cut to the chase. If you know of any sophisticated multi-lingual, 5'7" Blonde Swiss 'Princess Grace' type girls who yearn to spend their Friday nights having magnificent spaghetti while watching channel 71 screen burn, enjoy men frequently dressed in sexy Gladiator costumes, and are a freak otherwise outside these parameters (Toga parties?), let me know.

Anything to get this profile off the Internet, out of my spell check hell and into a closet somewhere.

Honestly, I would have pegged him for a Cleopatra/Aphrodite type. What do I know, but Princess Grace??? OH PLEASE! I will land Prince Albert himself as my husband before this happens!

Note: I just read on Wikipedia that 'a female wearing a toga was marked out as a prostitute'. OH. My bad. How many of you knew that? I obviously don't watch as many frat house movies as I should.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

World's Shortest Profiles

newly retired,,looking for a friend
i love women that like multiple men,,,i want to find a female like that

Multiple men? A female like what? Do I want to know?

Looking
Im just on here looking for a woman who wants to experience pleasure...Also, I am not a member, so figure things out and contact me where I can read it. But I would love to talk to someone soon!

No, YOU figure things out. Namely, find a dime and pay for a subscription like the rest of us.

Just Looking for now
I don't have the time to date. So I thought I would give this a try.

How perfect. Another man who doesn't have any time for me. That's HOT!

im new
im tall,skinny, and easy to get along with

Oh! Oh! I got it! You're a Cookies and Cream Popsicle.

Easy going love to have fun whom ever i am.

When you figure out 'whom ever you are', let me know.

Hello
Let's talk about it

Great. Here's my sentence. Your turn.

hi loooking for fun
i have long black hair and lots of tatoos

It sounds like you've already had way too much fun. Next!

friends with benefits
friends with benefits

I'm sensing a trend here...Haiku, maybe?

hansom man
i like sports and girls

Let me guess, you're unique.

Fill this in.
Need to fill this in

Let's not and say we did, alright?